Self-confidence. We all want it. It’s saying “I’ve got this!” and believing it.

Self-confidence can be based on your physical appearance, abilities, intelligence, how good you are at sports, your middle name…I digress. But as a believer in God, is it really you that you should depend on? We’re constantly told that self-confidence is the key to success, the top quality we must have to get ahead, be assertive, become leaders. Self-confidence is a very popular subject in dating, business, entrepreneurship, and more where you’re taught to think confidently, be self-assured, and live audaciously. Self-confidence is a pervasive theme of modern American culture in general.

And, it makes sense. We all want to live life to the fullest, reach our potential, and not be held back by a fear of the unknown or what others will think of us.

Therefore, we’re told that we need more self-confidence. But does the Bible agree with this mantra? Is self-confidence, or should I say, self-dependent confidence, actually sustainable? Hint: Not really.

What we really need is God-confidence where we put our faith in Him to equip us, as is given to us when we enter this world, with what we need to succeed. I don’t know about you but I know that I can’t do it all on my own, day in and day out. We do need each other much more than we admit.

Life in Christ is an awesome journey that leads to amazing assurance! And, putting your confidence in God, rather than solely depending on yourself, is not only what God desires but it also leads to lasting results. Let me explain…

The Differences Between God-Confidence and Self-Confidence

As believers, we should be giving all the glory to God. Our thoughts will transform from “I can do this” to “God has equipped me to do this!” God-confidence and self-confidence may look similar but the underlying differences are that God-confidence is humble and never-failing. In James 3:13 (NIV) we read: “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”

Humility stems from recognizing your weaknesses – that you can’t do everything on your own or with willpower. You need God to transform your thoughts, heart, body, and mind. He’ll fill you with a confidence that’s much stronger and more dependable than self-confidence which relies on ever-changing moods, thoughts, capabilities, performances, etc. God-confidence is trusting that God is always in control and that He will help you through any challenge, fear, or worry. God-confidence doesn’t rely on shaky human strength or frail willpower but on the eternal truth of God’s Word, which we read in Philippians 1:6 (NIV): “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Peter is a good example of the transition from self-dependent confidence to God-confidence. When we first meet Peter, he’s arrogant, lacks humility, worries about the future, and lacks faith. But he’s also driven, loyal to his commitments, tries to understand God, and returns to Christ again and again. Later on, in Acts, Peter heals a crippled man by declaring “In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” – Acts 3:6 (NIV) After he does this, he asks the Israelite onlookers why they’re so surprised, as he didn’t heal this man alone. Instead, he says: “The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of our fathers, has glorified his servant Jesus… By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus’ name and the faith that comes through him that has completely healed him, as you can all see.” – Acts 3:13, 16 (NIV) Now, when Peter talked, he was filled with the Holy Spirit. He was no longer operating out of fragile self-confidence. He lost his temporary self-confidence and gained never-ending God-confidence in its place.

Peter learned to speak with God-confidence. His loss of self-confidence didn’t turn him into a cowardly wimp, either. Quite the opposite! Peter became bolder than ever because God was working in him, propelling his confidence in something much more powerful and capable than his flesh.

If you’re running on self-confidence, you can push ahead until it runs out of gas, which is bound to happen sooner or later.

If you’re running on self-confidence, you can push ahead until it runs out of gas, which is bound to happen sooner or later. Maybe it already has, and you’re grasping for the inspiration, strength, or willpower to do it on your own. But if you let that go, admit your weaknesses, and choose God-confidence, it’s yours, and it’s unfailing. Your priorities will shift. Some things may have to go to make more room for the time you need with God. This will be a conscious decision but the more you seek God and begin to know Him, the more the Holy Spirit can will work in you, and the more truly confident you will become.

You can be confident of this – that God has begun a good work in you and he will not fail you, leave you, or forsake you. That is God-confidence.

Why God-Confidence Is Better Than Self-Confidence

Many of us grow up and enter adulthood feeling like we don’t measure up. We’re insecure and driven to prove our worth through achievement and appearances. But it can be miserable to live like this, continually striving to impress others out of pride and goal-seeking. Basing your worth on what others think is inherently unstable and ultimately unfulfilling.

So, culture tells you to love yourself more, invest in yourself, and build the self-confidence you need to succeed. While there’s nothing wrong with loving and investing in yourself, purely self-dependent confidence is rooted in pride and can lead to frustration, dissatisfaction, and burnout.

Self-confidence is an unstable friend. Sometimes you have it and sometimes you don’t. It’s unreliable because, well, so are you. There must be a better solution than solely depending on yourself for confidence. Thankfully, there is – God.

Trusting in God’s power, dependability, and love changes everything. God-confidence means looking to Him, not yourself, to fill your cup. He offers confidence and assurance (Hebrews 11:1), shatters fears (Psalm 27:1), and offers a firm foundation (Matthew 7:25).

There’s a huge difference between trying to achieve sustainable confidence on your own and relying on the Holy Spirit to enable you to do what you need to do. Personally, I know that I need God every day because I don’t have what it takes to have unfailing confidence in myself without Him. I fall down. I stumble. I backslide. Constantly.

That’s why it’s such a relief to know that the Holy Spirit is always with us and it’s the strengthener we need in every area of our lives (John 15:26). When you realize this, your confidence will come from knowing you’re saved by Christ and you won’t be controlled by fear, worry, and anxiety.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)  

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5 (NIV)

These verses reveal that in Christ, you are…

• Refreshed, reborn, and renewed by the Holy Spirit!
• A treasure! You were created to do the great things God has prepared for you.
• Strong and capable of doing whatever you need to do.
• Fruitful and dynamic.

Through our relationship with Christ, we can “…approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” – Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

Confidence-Boosting Activities

You don’t need to prove yourself to others. If you’ve accepted Jesus into your heart as your Savior, God will give you the confidence you need. But just because you should not base your confidence on yourself doesn’t mean you can’t still feel good about yourself and what you can offer others. The best part is that relying on God will help you accomplish things easier. Here are 14 ways to build confidence to serve.

1.)Learn a new skill – Embracing a growth mindset by learning a new skill shows that you’re capable of expanding your abilities and knowledge. It helps you overcome challenges and it can be fun!

2.)Master something – Mastering a skill you already have sows discipline, perseverance, and drive. It provides a tangible sense of accomplishment and boosts self-esteem. Remember that “mastering” does not mean “perfecting” as nothing you do or are will ever be perfect. So, don’t try to achieve perfection as it will only elude you into burnout. Only God is perfect.

3.)Live in your purpose as a believer – According to the Bible, our ultimate purpose is to glorify God. Glorifying God means acknowledging Him for who He is (our creator), praising Him, cultivating a relationship with Him, thanking Him, and being faithful to Him. “Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.” – Psalm 100:2-3 (NIV) The more you get to know God and the more you get to love Him, the more you’ll understand your ultimate purpose.

4.)Use the gifts God gave you – Following this, an amazing way to glorify God is to utilize the gift(s) He gave you. Your gift might be writing, painting, speaking to people, coding, building bridges, etc. Doing what you were put here to do will increase your confidence and provide a sense of fulfillment. You’ll be giving to others, part of the tapestry of humanity that makes the world go round.

5.)Take care of your inner and outer self – “Self-care” is a very pushed concept nowadays and while it may sound selfish, there’s nothing wrong with keeping yourself up. Taking care of yourself is necessary to stay alive and thrive! Though you’re a child of God, you’re also part of the world and when you look and feel good, you feel more comfortable with others and you can pour from a full cup. Self-care like eating healthy, staying active, socializing, showering daily, getting a massage, etc. will help you feel better, more relaxed, and more confident in yourself.

6.)Exercise – Yes, working out increases superficial confidence but it also requires discipline and perseverance because it’s inherently challenging. Pushing through excuses and keeping yourself accountable to a fitness routine will build confidence that you are strong and dedicated to your health. And, you don’t have to exercise like you’re training for a body-building competition. Just keep physically active whether that’s through cardio, weight lighting, bicycling, swimming, dancing, etc.

7.)Pray – Praying helps you foster a stronger connection with God who is listening and supporting you. God has your back. Praying every day will bring you closer to God over time by building the relationship. You’ll become more confident, understanding that He’s got you and you don’t have to worry.

8.)Spend time in the Word – God does not say we have to pray one way. I pray with the ACTS prayer model (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication) but you can pour your heart out to God any way you please. Spending time in the Word specifically helps you to get to know God better and speak to Him in His language. When you understand God, you’ll be more confident in Him. And, you will be able to stand on His word and confidently speak it into existence.

9.)Meditation and mindfulness – Meditation helps calm the mind and regulate the nervous system, which, in turn, regulates emotions. Sitting quietly isn’t easy at first as the opposite will happen. Your mind will probably race and you’ll become uncomfortable with your whirlwind of thoughts. But sitting with them without judgment will eventually help you to accept them and move forward with God’s help. God is all about mindfulness. “Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

10.)Recognize what you have and be grateful for it – As humans, it’s natural to never be satisfied. But that’s selfish and ungrateful and it’s not what God wants. Regularly recalling every little thing you have to be grateful for, from your thumbs to your bedroom to waking up in the morning, will make your perspective on life a lot healthier, Godlier, and more joyful. Plus, your confidence will increase by noticing all the things you already have.

11.)Instead of worrying about what others think of you, focus on getting to know them. Insecurity is common and unfortunately, it comes from focusing on yourself too much. You might feel shy, worried that you don’t measure up to others and that they won’t like you. This can ironically lead to pushing people away to “reject them before they reject you.” But by whose standards are you judging yourself? Because we all have different ones. Instead of feeling anxious and judged by others, stop judging them. Put the focus on them and find things you like about them. Trying to genuinely like others will help you see the good in people, make you feel good about yourself, take the pressure off, and serve everyone by giving others a piece of your heart instead of a piece of your mind.

12.)Therapy/coaching – Some believers have been led to feel shame about seeking therapy or coaching. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with it! Sometimes, we need a listening ear and extra help to get through challenges. There is nothing wrong with humans helping humans. That’s what we were put here for! There are many types of therapy and life coaching, and you can find faith-based therapists or resources through faith-based organizations like churches as well.

13.)Stop comparing yourself to others – Stop thinking that other people have it over you, are better than you, don’t suffer, don’t have setbacks, etc. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one is intrinsically better or worse than you in God’s eyes. They’re just different. Comparison is the thief of joy and is completely unproductive. It only leads to emotions like bitterness, anger, resentment, envy, and depression. God sees us all equally, as His children, so do not feel inferior to anyone else and lose your confidence. You are a child of God – you are enough. Period.

14.)Quiet all the noise – Banking off of that, try to reduce the chatter around you. We are bombarded today with people giving advice on the news, social media, TV, radio, etc. When you’re trying to measure up to everything you hear and the opinions of others, your confidence will suffer. You don’t need others talking 24/7 in your head. Again, be still and talk to God.

How to develop God-confidence

Jeremiah 17:7 (NIV), “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.”

To develop God-confidence, start by doing two things: First, trust in God, and second, know that He’s given you the power. God has your best interests at heart and will supply you with the confidence you need to tackle obstacles. Don’t worry about how to get there or what path to take, trust God. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

The Holy Spirit has given you the power – you can live God-reliant instead of self-reliant. Your flesh will always fall short, no matter how much personal growth or self-development you do. You’ll never outwork God’s power in you which is why operating in your own power will never be enough. Choosing to operate in the spirit that’s been given to you, through the blood of Jesus, will give you greater capacity than you feel like you have. You’ll always have more because it’s done through God’s power which is endless. “…The righteous are as bold as a lion” Proverbs 28:1 (NIV)

When you put your trust in God and confidence in His word and promises, you take on a new balance, grace, and focus. Biblical self-confidence is confidence in God’s Word and character. Confidence in the flesh is meaningless but confidence in God who made us, called us, and saved us is ever-lasting. God is conspiring behind your back to transform, uplift, and make you a success. This will be easier for Him to do if you put your confidence in Him.

Blog written by Dana Hornor Mosolgo

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